The MarySue That Wasn't
by vericus
Summary: Sabrina finds herself dumped in MiddleEarth. Only one problem she doesn't even know she's in MiddleEarth, and she has arrived at exactly the wrong time. Warning: amusing only if you have a morbid sense of humour or you hate MarySues.


Disclaimer: The blot bunny that made me write this owns me, but neither it nor I own anything relating to JRR Tolkiens work. (Unless you count the movies)  
  
Dedicated to my friend minnow, because the main character is named Sabrina.  
  
~ The Mary-Sue That Wasn't ~  
  
Sabrina was walking home from school one day, whistling cheerily to herself and making a mental list of what to buy at the grocery store in the way of snacks for her and her friends when they got together to watch the Lord of the Rings movies that night, when she tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and fell face-first into a mud puddle.  
  
"Eeyuch!" she exclaimed as she pulled herself out of the water, spitting mud out of her mouth. She shook her head slightly to clear it - it seemed a little fogged after her fall, she must have hit her head - and then set about getting the worst of the mud off of herself. Only once that was done did she look up, and suddenly realized that she was not in Topeka, Kansas anymore. Sabrina stared around with wide eyes at the wilderness that surrounded her, from the river that she'd just pulled herself out of, to the forest behind her, to the waterfall not far off in the distance.  
  
"What the hell?" she murmured to herself, frowning. This would require some thought, she decided, and so she sat down on the riverbank - a good distance away from the water, pulled off her backpack, and started thinking.  
  
Half an hour later, being no closer to an answer than before, Sabrina decided she needed a little inspiration to come up with an answer to where she was and how she had gotten there. So she dug through her backpack and pulled out her Discman, put the headphones on, and pressed play. The dramatic music of 'The Two Towers' soundtrack filled her ears, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the music, as she began to think again. Only, this time, her thoughts were centered around a certain blond-haired elf, not where she was - and before long, Sabrina's head slumped forward, and she started snoring lightly in her sleep, naked Legolas' dancing around in her dreams.  
  
~~~  
  
Sabrina woke with a start later in the afternoon, and then let out a string of curses at herself and the world in general as she realized she'd fallen asleep. She took off her headphones and angrily stuffed them and her Discman back in her pack, zipping it closed rather violently and then glaring at it for a few moments. Then she sighed and stood up, deciding to get back to the problem of where she was.  
  
"Well, obviously thinking about it isn't going to work." Sabrina announced to no one in particular, and then, shading her eyes for no other reason than it made her feel as if she could see farther than she actually could, she scanned the horizon for any signs of civilization. Then she listened carefully for the same thing. She came up with nothing, though, except for...Sabrina squinted, peering farther down the river. Was that a boat? It was!  
  
Sabrina let out a little squeal of glee, and then took off running down the shore, shouting noisily at the people in the boat, trying to catch their attention. To her annoyance, however, they just started rowing faster, and before long they had reached the other side and disappeared into the trees. Sabrina stopped and sagged slightly, panting at the brief, intense exercise.  
  
Once Sabrina had recovered her breath, and torn her mournful gaze away from the other shore and the grey, up-ended boat visible there, she looked farther down the shore, and spotted the other boats - and the camp fire and supplies by it. She let out a whoop of joy and set off at a run again towards the camp. She arrived once more out of breath and looked around wildly for someone - anyone. Surely there would be someone around if all their stuff was out in the open like this.  
  
No one, however, was anywhere around. Sabrina sighed in disappointment, then shrugged and plopped down by the campfire, picking up a stick and beginning poking it. Someone had to come back eventually, after all.  
  
~~~  
  
It was Legolas who sensed the intruder first, and abruptly dropped Boromir's legs, causing Aragorn, his fellow carrier, to grunt in surprise. Aragorn shot the Elf a curious look, and Legolas frowned slightly before motioning to Aragorn and Gimli to stay there and disappearing up into the trees. Gimli and Aragorn looked at the spot where the Elf had disappeared with confusion, then looked at each other with worry. They barely had time to form more than a few bad thoughts involving a lot of arrows and their fellow companion, however, when Legolas abruptly returned.  
  
"There is a stranger in our camp. Human. They are sitting by the fire and seem to be waiting for us." Legolas hissed quietly. Aragorn's eyes widened slightly.  
  
"Sent to finish the job if the Uruk's couldn't?" Gimli questioned. Legolas gave an elegant shrug.  
  
"I could not tell." he said, then frowned again. "But they gave me an uneasy feeling." There was a moment of thoughtful silence, and then Gimli and Legolas looked to Aragorn expectantly. He sighed, knowing they wished him to make a decision.  
  
"Let us approach and see who they are. If they prove to be a danger, we shall have to kill them, but we must, at least, get to our packs if we are to continue." he said. His two companions nodded, and they silently spread apart into a simple formation, then advanced towards their camp.  
  
As they got closer, Aragorn noticed Legolas becoming more and more uncomfortable. When the Elven Prince started glancing longingly over his shoulder, Aragorn signaled Gimli to stop and went over to the Elf.  
  
"You sense danger?" he asked Legolas quietly in Sindarin. Legolas paused, and then shook his head.  
  
"No." he replied, in the same language and just as quietly, though he still looked disturbed.  
  
"What is it, then?" Aragorn asked with concern. Legolas shook his head.  
  
"'Tis nothing." Legolas insisted. Aragorn narrowed his eyes as he looked at his friend. Legolas shifted uncomfortably under his gaze for a moment, and then sighed. "You have picked up far too much from your foster father, my friend," he said. "I am...afraid for some reason." Legolas frowned. "I have not felt fear such as this since my first battle." Aragorn joined Legolas in frowning.  
  
"Do you think it is due to the one waiting for us?" he asked.  
  
"I believe so." Legolas replied after a moment.  
  
"Then they are dangerous." Aragorn said, arching an eyebrow. Legolas nodded hesitantly, and Aragorn made a quick decision, glancing at the quiver on the Elf's back to be sure it had some arrows in it, first. "Then take to the trees and shoot them before they realize we are here." Legolas paused, and then nodded, looking much relieved at this new plan. Aragorn thumped Legolas on the shoulder in a friendly manner, and then turned to go inform Gimli of the change of plan as the Elven Prince disappeared into the trees once again.  
  
~~~  
  
Poor Sabrina never even heard or saw her attackers. She was simply sitting by the fire, poking it with her stick and bored out of her mind, and the next thing she knew, there was an agonizing pain in her chest. Her breath hitched a few times, and she looked down with wide eyes at the tip of the blood-covered arrow that was sticking out of her chest to the left of her breastbone. Her eyes widened, and then rolled back into her head (she never could stand the sight of blood) as she fell over onto her right side in a - literally - dead faint.  
  
A few minutes later, when the Three Hunters (as they were soon to be called) entered their campsite, they had only a moment's concern over the discovery that the intruder to their camp was a maiden. Then they saw what she was wearing, and decided that they were right to kill her, as she could be nothing else but an evil spy sent to seduce them. They rolled her body into the river and let the current take it away before going back into the woods to fetch Boromir's body and set about giving him his burial rights.  
  
~ The End ~  
  
(Press the little button, leave usssss a review, yessss, precioussss!) 


End file.
